Thursday, May 17, 2007

Is it me? Or is it Memorex?

Hi Folks,
I apologize for my long absence from Blogville. Things have been quite busy at work. i have been trying to catching up on the all the things not done while I was away. Life at home is busy as well with spring cleanups, daughter meltdowns and the need to chaperone my son and his girlfriend. So, in chronological order I present for you review, my life since my return, in word and picture! Or in the words of Arlo: "twenty seven, eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circlesand arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what eachone was to be used as evidence against me!"

May 1-4th- returned to work to the expected stack of stuff that no one else accomplished while I was away. There were proposals to write, invoice to bill out and filing up the wazzoo! Of course the vacation lag was difficult to deal with and picking up the house after leaving it and the animals in my 21 year olds hands for 10 days. Can you say house party?? I found another couple of beer cans under the deck just this past weekend. Never mind the condom wrappers left on the bathroom floor, ewww!

May 5 & 6: try and catch up on the yard work and clean out all the perennials beds that were still piled with leaves. Rake, rake and rake some more. Whew, only one more bed to go will get it next weekend. Sunday night fight with daughter, who stayed at her dads on Saturday night, about slipping off to the Mall. Mom’s gut instincts said, make her turn around and come home. Big fight ensued, she came home and a day ot two later found out she was going to meet that “GUY” again. The same one she lost her car for a month by lying and sneaking! Will they never learn? So, mom is an asshole and the house was quiet for because she wouldn’t talk to me! At least it is peaceful!

May 7th-9th- still busy at work with end of month billings and the usual employee stuff. Make sure daughter gets her prom dress to the alteration lady. Beautiful isn't it? She looks stunning in it. Prom pictures hopefully (read on) to follow.

You know it is really interesting to be in my particular “Child” situation at the moment. On one hand you have my very beautiful, just turned 17, year old daughter, who I am trying like hell to guide and keep safe, not only safe from “whomever” but also safe from herself.

Teenagers can make such stupid decisions in the name of love. Wait a minute, so do adults but that is another story! We have had, on several occasions, weeping conversations about my duty to watch out for her and sometimes make decisions for her that she does not and will not like. She actually told me that she wished I didn’t care about her so she could just live her own life. Those conversations are hard and draining.

(Keep eye on son and girlfriend. He isn't even 16 until August!)

On the other hand I have my 16 year old son’s, girlfriend’s dad on the phone making sure that I will be at home to chaperone my son and his daughter because, “well you know”. Oh, boy, do I. Now not only do I have to be diligent about my daughters foray into sexuality but also be the guard for someone else’s little girl and protect her from my own son! How come? I am tired to being diligent. But I must, it is my promise to my children, the one not often spoken but that all parents (ok except Madeleine McCann's) understand. Protect them and guide them at all cost. I guess it also applies to other people’s children to some degree.

May 10th- Wrote off my happily ever after again! Will I never learn? I sure hope I do and pretty damn quick! Go listen to Brandi Carlisle "Someday Never Comes", you will understand.

May 11th- had dinner with my best friend! Boy I miss her! Drank too much!

May 12 & 13th: Finally the first weekend since vacation that my children will be with their dad. YIPPEE! Not feeling all that well from the night before festivities but did manage to clean the house and even washed the kitchen floor. Sunday was Mothers Day. Took my mom and dad to breakfast and went home to find the kids home already (damn I wasn’t done being alone yet) because they were going to help with yard work for my Mothers Day present. Nice concept, frustrating in reality. With 2 boys over 6’3” they are a formidable eating machine. So, the yard work was done piecemeal because the refrigerator had just been stocked the day before. On a side note, not only is it expensive to go on vacation it is also expensive when you return. Two weeks of $250.00 grocery bills (that's right folks $500.00 in two weeks) to restock the house. Yikes! The yard eventually was done and I even managed to get the flower boxes emptied of last year’s soils and the deck cleaned off from the winter debris. Glad weekends are for resting, RIGHT!

At 10:30pm on Mothers Day my daughter decided it was time to push the limits of my sanity again. She asked if I would talk to “The GUY” because he really wants to work things out. Ok, I lost my fucking mind. She didn’t realize I knew about the Mall scenario or the many phone calls while on vacation between them and I let loose. I had told her that they were all done and she was to stop, silly me! I did talk to him, it wasn’t pretty and my daughter again hates me. Guys, you just know when someone is full of shit. I just wish she could see it. So much for sleep that night!

May 14th- just the usual Monday stuff. Work is work and home was again quiet. Made dinner, opened daughters door to let her know dinner was ready. She never responded, she was sleeping. I assumed it was my punishment, the being ignored part, for putting my foot down again. I am ok with that and retire to my room. Well, I lied I am not ok with she and I not being ok. I am very sensitive to shifts in my energy and that of my house and it really gets me all twisted inside. It is a throw back from my marriage. I don't feel riight when there is negative energy in my home.

May 15th- kids off to school as usual. Having my 1st cup of coffee when the phone rang. It was the school nurse. Daughter is running a fever of 101 and her tonsils are swollen and oozing white stuff. Make an appointment with the Dr. Daughter has Mono and now she wants her Mommy to be nice to her and take care of her. Spend 2 hrs at the clinic, $30.00 for drinks, medicine, throat lozenges, broth, etc and send daughter home. This is what my daughters throat looks.

Go back to work and spend the day trying to work while worrying about daughter. Get home to find her in a puddle on the couch, crying and sobbing because her fever is so high and her throat is so sore and she just wants to die. Comfort daughter, give her meds, fix dinner, feed the animals, open the cell phone bill from our trip, flip out ($800.00) cater to daughter some more and finally crash about 11pm. Wake up at 3am to daughter in my room sobbing and again wishing for death. Get up, get medicine, get cold drink and tuck daughter in bed with the dog and me. Fall back asleep at some point.

May 16th – Drag my ass out of bed. Get daughter more medicine and me a cup of coffee. Chat with daughter while awake and remind her she needs to go the alteration shop as they have altered her Prom dress and she needs to pick it up. She nods. Head to work, dragging my ass still clearly 4 feet behind me. Go to my office and pull my chair out to sit and find Romeo (the little yellow kitty) dead under my desk. FUCK!

He was still warm and floppy. Pick him up and hold him for a bit and let the other girls in the office say goodbye to him. He had a bad heart murmur and I think he was growing so fast that his little heart couldn’t keep up and just gave out. He was peaceful when I found him (lying very similar to the photo). I was sad. He was my buddy. Pull my shit together, do some work, meet daughter at seamstress (she has no money because she got fired from her job because she got her nose pierced while we were on vacation-she knew in advance it might happen) to pay for the alterations. Daughter looks like shit! She is pale and has big black circles under her eyes. Daughter went back home to bed and mom went back to work. Finished out the day and headed home. Got home to find daughter on the couch, sobbing. She had slept through the effectiveness of the meds and was in sever pain again. Medicate daughter, comfort her, wait until the meds kick in and prepare dinner. Poor son, he is being ignored. Thank him for understanding and not giving me any trouble. Clean up dinner, do some laundry, feed animals and finally sit down and watch a bit of TV. Stay up for next dosing of meds (11:30pm) so daughter doesn’t melt down, fall asleep, wake up to alarm at 3:30am for next medication round and fall back into bed.

Which brings us up to today! FUCK I am tired. No more vacations for me. It is too much work when you come back.

Ps. The Prom is Saturday and daughter may not be well enough to go. Prom Dress $275.00, Shoes $45.00, Hair $65.00, Nails $31.00-

Propping daughter up against a wall at the Prom;

You're fucking right!


Sassy Sundry said...

Oh. I hope she feels better. Poor thing---even if she does run up the phone bill.

You have quite the life there, Prudence.

Dear Prudence said...

Busy little beaver aren't I? People wonder why I drink!

dive said...

It's good to have you back, Prudence.

And it's worth the wait:
Alice's Restaurant! I've just got the old vinyl out and it is playing as I write this. Thanks for bringing that one back.

And at least the kids used condoms … Whew!

And that's your daughter's prom dress? I thought it was you in your gardening gear.

If you're going to protect your children from the perils of teenagerhood, you should have had ugly kids like me, not beautiful ones. Wow! (both sexes). You have some pretty fabulous genes happening there, girl.

And I hope your daughter gets well enough to go to the prom.

And so sorry to hear about Romeo. At least you gave him a happy life.

Now get some sleep. XX

Dear Prudence said...

Hey Dive,
Thanks it's good to be back. Y

You are welcome for Alice. My kids and I listen to it every Thanksgiving and they can recite it verbatim.

I agree, he has always wrapped that thing!

Funny on the gardening gear.

I know, not that I wish them ugly.. but they are wearing me out!

Me too


Me too!

snore, snore, snore!~

Fresh Hell said...

Holy Hell in a handbasket, Prudence! I'm exhausted and distressed from reading that. You totally win the 'my life is more exhausting and distressing than yours is' award!

Several things:

1) at least the kids at the house party are using condoms even though the aftermath will turn a tummy wrong side out.

2)Your boy needs to consider a stronger SPF. People here really love to be tan, but the downside is wrinkles and melanoma. Somehow all this seems way more important than the consequences of puppy love to me... Does it show that I'm a childless spinster?

3) I remember having the same conversation with my dad about wishing he wouldn't care so much so that I could live in peace in the manner of my choosing. You're doing a good job. Keep it up.

4) Your poor daughter. She'll go to prom anyway, look only a few grand short of a million bucks and won't regret going until she's in her thirties and has more sense.

5) As steep as the price may be, vacations are so worth it. Have as many as you can get away with. All work and no play isn't very prudent, now is it?

Welcome back!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

OMG, my son had mono, it was bad. Gotta rest. Damn girl, I feel bad for you and can sure remember how it felt w/the kids home and all the drama. Oh wait, it never stops. It really doesn't. If young women knew that having a child means it never ends, not a t 18 only when we die, they'd never have children, huh?

Anonymous said...

Nice to have you back hun.
You seem to have been riding the parental rollercoaster for a while now.
I'm not a biological parent, rather I'm a youth worker, (which at times is basically parent who gets to escape after 16 hours) I take over when parents have had enough and I worry just as much about my clients and their choices as if they were my own.

I can relateto teh mother daughter power struggle, i was stuck in one when i was 16. They HATED my boyfriend with a passion. Not because he was bad just because in hindsight they admitted that they didn't like the fact that as a mid teen i was begining to assert myself and make my own decisions.
Things came to a head and I ended up in a refuge several times.
If they had simply not fight so hard neither would have I and the boy in question would have been history long before he was.
The price of pointless antipathy is this, eventually i did grow tired of living in a refuge because of this guy and got rid of him. And met another boy who proved to be my total undoing. Six weeks later and I was assaulted so badly I'll never have children.

I watch utterly horrified sometimes by the actions and choices of my clients, all you want to do is wrap them in cotton wool and protect them from a world you know from experience isn't always a nice place but we forget we were once their age and struggling with the same issues. Beinga teenager is not exactly the ice cream memories that come to us when were older, to be trapped if you like in the world of a child when developmentally your body is telling you otherwise is why I'll never runout of clients.
My parents mistake was to judge me by their own teenage actions and mistakes on me.
We have to let kids make mistakes, painful as it might be, how else will they learn?

Your daughters dress is gorgeous and definately on my I want that list.

Romeo - horrible thing to have happened. If he choose your space in which to die feel honoured for it meant that he felt safe with your presence and it brought him comfort when he died.

Big hugs girl, glad your back. xoxoxox

savannah said...

you weren't kidding, sugar! i'm at a loss for words...all i can say is: damn, damn, damn! i am sooo not gonna complain about anything...ok, for at least a day! *hugs* take care and try and get a nap or two in!

Dear Prudence said...

Good morning Everyone!
Fresh: 1.) Couldn't agree more. #1 Son has always wrapped that thing. 2.)He got burned the 1st day and spent most of the rest of the time inside. He is a passive tanner. 3.)I was such a naughty teenager that I have tried to be a better/more understanding/hipper one. It still is tough and I wont quit. 4.)She is going and it feeling a bit better today. 5.)What is done is done and more than likely it will be the last vaca with them so yes it was worth it.

Babs: remember I told ya I loved ya on your Blog.. "Oh wait, it never stops." I may have jumped the gun!

Kate: I try desperately to remember my teenage years with every dealing with my kids. It isn't always easy and sometime I get pig headed, I have a son who is 21 and seems to be doing ok, so hopefully the track record will continue. It is true that you parent from how you were parented but I also believe that if you are in-tune with yourself you can modify it and hopefully generation by generation one day we will get it right. I agree with you about Romeo, he was my buddy and we were close. I held him tight for a long time.

Savannah: Welcome! It does appear that I was whining. I didn't mean to just want everyone to know why I have been absent. The parenting is stressful but I did get some sleep last night and feel a bit better today.

Daughter is much perkier today. She is already up and calling me at work and it's only 8:30am.

Good Sign!

Maria said...

What a tough time of it!

And, call me stupid now. I was looking rather vaguely at the mono throat picture, not that closely...really.

I thought to myself, well...there is a picture of some sort of cherry dessert up soon, so maybe she got a break and gave herself a little treat.

I kept reading. And then took a close look at the pic.

Oh, my....

Old Knudsen said...

Yep kids are useless, if you can't make them work then sell them, you should at least make them read this post.

I suppose the condoms were for water balloons or some such.

paddy said...

Teenagers can make such stupid decisions in the name of love. That rings a big bell ding ding dong, you said it.
Thanks for the photo of the swollen and oozing white stuff- I nearly fell off the chair.
God, you make my like seem easy by comparison. Anyway!
Welcome back, and after reading that I wont be surprised if you run away. Ha!!
Y;-) Paddy

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Come out and play, air yer dirty laundry...

Rich said...

those are some nasty looking tonsils. Mono is pretty bad can make you real sick.

If I came home and found condom wrappers in my bath and a 21 y/o was responsible they would no longer be living at my house.