Thursday, August 16, 2007

I Should Be In Rehab....

Maria has a wonderful, positive outcome, post about "“This Parenting Shit" and her adventures in this world of stress, love, laughter and torment that is parenting. Having said that, this is what I am up against today and many other days when my children, the little fuck-nuts, (thanks Terroni) are getting a talkn’ to because of things they are or are not doing around the house.

My eldest (21) called my ex today to complain about the other two (17 & 16) not doing there chores and fighting, as siblings will do, hurling obscenities at each other and slamming doors. The only reason he was complaining is because the other two didn't do their chores, the hosue is messy and he wants his GF over tonight so I can cook them dinner she will be somehow impressed with him! Now this meal has been a plan since Monday and he lost his other job last Friday and has just been wandering to and fro doing as he pleases. As mentioned in my previous post about my eldest, he is moving to Virginia on Sunday. Being a single mom with and Ex who is usually in arrears with his child support (as is the case yet again) I told my eldest he could move back home for a month or so to save his $400.00 rent which, he could take with him for his move as I wouldn’t be able to just hand him a wad of cash. We discussed his dog (a Pit Bull) and the fact that I already had two dogs and was not interested in any way, shape or form, watching or dealing with his dog. It is not housebroken! “Not a problem, Ma! I will take care of him, he’s my buddy!” Great, glad that’s straight. Also, “We don’t’ have to set up chores or things, if I see something, like the trash that needs to be taken out I will just take care of it.” Why do we, as parents fall into that same old trap of wishful thinking? He has been home since 7/20/07. He has taken the trash out one time and only after I made a snide remark. That is his entire contribution to the running of my house in a month. Never mind the 5-6 trash bags full of dirty cloths that are thrown around his room and smell of dog pee. He has left his dog more than he has watched him and the dog has chewed his way (literally) through two doors, destroyed a $150.00 metal dog crate trying to free himself and one door jam. The dog has bad separation anxieties issues and did I mention at 11mothns old is still not fixed or house trained. He cannot be left alone for one minute! He, th edlest leaves the dog with the other two kids who promise they will watch him (yea right) and I come home to find piles of dog shit in MY room!

Now having said all that, my eldest is now stuck picking up the house today for "our" dinner date and is pissed about it. I am not sure what the Ex said to him but evidently it wasn't to his liking because he then proceeds to tell the Ex that a big reason everything is so out of control is because … are you ready for this….I come home from work every night, throw some kind of pasta in a pot and drink myself into oblivion every night and hide in my room. I don’t do any housework or make anyone behave and they are all running amuck. Please someone, come and take my children away from me because I am a horrible mother and awful role model, no really I mean it...please.. please come and take them away!

Do I go home at night, after working all day. Monday - Friday, running errands for football, taking time off of work for court dates for speed-demon children, grocery shopping, school shopping,vet appointments etc. and have a drink or two while I fix dinner, vacuum, clean up the mess that has been left while I was at work and deal with all the animals, YOU FUCKING BET I DO! On weekends (when the kids are at their dads) I might even get pretty trashed.


But do I deserve to be made to look like a raging alcoholic by my children every time they get spoken to about holding up their end of the bargain? NO! I do not deserve that, not for one second. This has been going on for a few years now as they have gotten older and at first I used to laugh it off but it is really starting to piss me off. The funny part, it is the Ex who truly has a drinking problem and he's calling me concerned. WTF I told the Ex today that every time he hears them say those things and he doesn’t call them on their shit he is reinforcing to them that he believes it. But that is the kind of help his is anyway.

So, Maria, I am glad you had a positive outcome with Liv yesterday and I sure hope she does turn out to be one of the those low-stress, easy going kids, cuz when they are not it is so hard to remember how much you really love them, especially when they hurt you so much.

11 comments:

zirelda said...

Oh geez Prudence. Don'tcha hate that? I can see why your Morning After will be when the eldest moves. I think I might invite him to go live with the ex until then. Does the ex cook? Is he willing to make a meal to impress the girlfriend?

Sorry, that kind of thing really pushes my buttons.

dive said...

I don't know if you can feel this hug from four thousand miles away, Prudence but it certainly sounds like you need it.

Thanks again for making me glad to be childless. Me? I'd sign 'em all up for the French Foreign Legion and chill out with some wine.

Dear Prudence said...

Z, it makes me sad that they play me that way. I did ship the little shits off for 3 weeks to live with the Ex who has no TV, no food in the house and a wife who is hell on wheels, that worked for about 1.5 weeks. Everything is back to status quo and they wonder why I tell them in 3 years I am selling the house and moving far, far away! I have done my time as a single mom (since 1994) and I am done.

Dive, thanks for the hug. How is it your suggesting wine to an alcoholic?? They wonder why I drink and then blame me for it.. no winning!!LOL

dive said...

Okay; I'll drink the wine, you tuck into some chocolate.

zirelda said...

I only have the one and spent the last 5 years hearing her tell me how she's going to live with her dad when she turns 13.

She got to spend time with him this summer and now has decided maybe it's not such a bad thing to live with mom.

They have no clue till they have kids of their own.

Stacy said...

I used to think the people who told me to enjoy those sleepless nights with a crying infant because they were the best days were completely nuts. Now I long for those simple days. Poop and puke sound wonderful compared to some of the battles of teenagerdom.

Dear Prudence said...

z, Oh Lordly, They have no clue till they have kids of their own don't we sound like our parents!

Welcome Stacy, it was nice to know they would stay wherever you put them! Those were the days!

zirelda said...

Oh Crap. I'm turning into my mother!

Terroni said...

Glad to help ;>

Maria said...

Good bloody fucking hell.

I am now terrified of the day when Liv turns into a teenager....

Because, it WILL come, won't it? Or should I just send her to boarding school now......hmmm....

Rich said...

What makes us want to have kids anyway?