Tuesday, July 28, 2009

500 Words- Ok really 556

Well, count me in on this one at least. Here goes...

And again next day a thinly populated sky, losing its blue to the heat, would melt overhead, and the car inside would be a furnace when we got in again, and the road shimmered ahead, with a remote car changing its shape mirage-like in the surface glare, and seeming to hang for a moment, old-fashionedly square and high, in the hot haze. As the road crawled away we continued to chase it down. Mile after mile, the air clawing its way down our throats trailing its aridness into our chests and absorbing what moisture remained in our lungs. The confinement of the car was intolerable for Lo. I could see it in her eyes, that is, when she would look my way. The window being her constant companion, she very rarely took her eyes off the brownness that seemed to absorb the life around us, let alone speak. This bareness was taking its toll. The insufferable length of time caged in this heap of rusting metal was seeping into her, seeming to incinerate what was left of her fragile frame. As the cars ahead shifted shape in the burning heat of the day so did Lo.

As we plunged through the cleavage of Twin Mountains just outside of Sapulpa the heaviness that had weighted us down began to lift. Mile after mile of nothingness had crushed itself against our bodies like apples in a press, leaving behind bruised flesh darkened by the blistering sun that spit on our skin as we hung out the windows trying to catch some relief from the furnace in which we rode. Just as the wipers stripped away the murk that collected on the windshield, the gradual greening of the roadsides gave me hope that Lo too would brighten. She never spoke much anyway, but the 200 miles of silence was loud. I knew her well enough that I took no offense, knowing it best to keep my thoughts to myself. Her tongue being pointed, adding the nothingness of our drive would lend a sharpness that I was not likely to recover from. The heat always took its toll on her.

So, I drove and she sat, quietly mulling whatever thoughts tripped around her skull. With her it was impossible to tell exactly what was in there and the fact that when she did open her mouth you were never sure where the conversation would land you, I usually just went along for the ride. Not unlike our trip thus far. Odd comments, disjointed to the moment seemed to be her favorite way to pass the time. Randomness, not unlike the way we had met was the force behind her thoughts. She did it to amuse herself. If my car had not broke down, in that town, on that day, at that hour, just as she was ending her shift at the diner, I would be in LA. Alone. But randomness insinuated itself upon me that day, stripping away what anyone would consider an ordinary life. If anyone had told me six months ago that I would fall this hard, this fast and this deep for a woman I had literally bumped into on the street, in a shit-hole little town on the outskirts of life, I would have thought them mad.

9 comments:

dive said...

Prudence, this is wonderful!

I love the twist at the end. What a great road movie.

Rather amusingly, both our stories share quite a few words and phrases. Something I think will happen a lot with these stories, but that's part of the fun; seeing our similarities as well as our differences.

Thank you so much for joining in our little writing-fest. I am totally in awe of how quickly you produced this. Amazing!

Here's to the next one!

Scout said...

I'm glad you're joining in, Pru. I could really feel the dry heat in your story. *gasp/choke*

Dear Prudence said...

Dive, Thanks. That was more fun that what my mind has previously been occupied with. Thanks to Robyn and Lynn for the respite.

Thanks Robyn.

savannah said...

great story, sugar! i love the spin you added.

i have been remiss in checking in on you. good to see you again. xoxoxo

Lynn said...

Oooh love this. Especially the unexpected ending, I hadn't really been thinking along those lines. Like 'her tongue being pointed' a lot! :)

Dear Prudence said...

Thanks Savannah and although I don't usually commment on your blog I do meander there a least once a week. So, no harm dear, no foul!

Thanks Lynn. A good friend of mine just emailed me and asked if I were "Coming Out" as this was an obvious story about a woman who realized just 6 months ago she was gay. Why would one assume that just because the writer is a woman she couldn't possibly be writing from a male perspective… funny that!

neetzy said...

Hey Pru,

I loved the "mountain cleavage". I could picture the scenery. You added a definite sexiness to the story. Awesome!

Dear Prudence said...

Welcome Neetzy and thank you. It was fun.

MmeBenaut said...

Ah Prudence, I haven't been here for far too long and what a fabulous reward. I love your writing style; page-turning stuff with wonderful, warm and overflowing phrases. Your female character is an enigma, that's for sure.